"If I ever walk away from you,
will you run after me,
grab my hands and tell me that you need me more than anything?"


He answered,
"Yes.
If you ever walk away from me,
I'm gonna grab you.
Hold you tight and
I'm telling you that you're more important than anything else.
I'm not gonna let you leave me."



Love you darling.
But,
I wonder,
if you will literally run after me when I walk away from you.

Gave this to honeybuuu yesterday.
Hope he'll keep it good.

After some conversation yesterday night,
I've made up my mind to stay strong and fight for it.
After all,
I've came this far just to be with him.
I couldn't just give up and walk away right now.

All this while, I never dare to imagine the day where he'll say those three words to me.
But last night,
right before we end our conversation through phone, at 1.19am
he said..
"I love you"

Ohhhhh..
Yeahh, I'm going insane.
I'm madly and deeply in love with him.

Thus,
I'll prepare myself to face all the hardships that are waiting ahead for me..

After all the shit he puts me through,

I'm still clinging with hopes that he'll be mine one day.

Sometimes,

I feel shitty for doing this but then I can't force myself to let him go because of her.

Maybe I'm just being a freaking bitch.

But,

I no longer care anymore.

I'll go for what my heart says.

I've almost lose him,

I don't want to see that he's really walking away from me anymore.

Am I suppose to put high expectations on you,

when you can't even decide who am I to you?

Am I suppose to be there for you,

when you think bout me for only a second in a day?

Or am I suppose to give you what you asked for,

when I am just a person you can turned to if your life became lonely and miserable?

Please, I begged you.

Don't play with my feelings.

You gave me hope and I trusted you.

But now,

all you can say is that

" I don't know, please don't force me :("

What is that suppose to mean?

That I've been forcing you to talk to me?

Yes,

I really do want you to be around me.

But if you really felt that I'm forcing to do so,

then please, go away.

Its painful to see you leave,

but seeing you accusing me that I forced you?

That's more painful, my dear.

Why am I so desperate to know who am I to you?

It's because you're keeping me hanging.

I do not know if I should let go of you or just keep on waiting for you.

If you do not wish to have me around,

just be honest to me.

You're hurting me now,

so why are you keep hanging me up on the 74th floor?

It'll be for once and for all matter.

At least,

I can completely give up on you if I know the truth.

You told me that you do not wish to see me sad.

Then what are you doing to me now?

Isn't it better to see me cry now than seeing me cry everyday?

Think about it, dear.

I'm not a toy for you..

I guess that's just life.

You can never get anything that you want.

I wish I can spill out everything here, now.

But I can't.

I guess I should just back on my emo switch and stay in that way.

I felt life was so much more easier and simple when I'm an emo freak.

After all the downfall, I've came to know this guy who partially, changed my life by a little.

I made my move,

but now,

I'm thinking again, if what I did was right.

But anyhow,

Semester 3 of my course have almost come to an end.

This shows how fast can time flies without our knowledge.

And this too, shows that I've already got over Hao.

Well,

I must say that it is NOT easy for me to let go of him.

Up until now, I'm afraid to have his name mentioned as it will bring flashbacks in my head.

Yeah, its not a good thing if you wanna move on.

So for now,

I wish to be with that guy, but I know it's impossible.

I told him how I felt

All I can do now is just wait and see whats up for me next.