A note to myself,
never cut a car which was modified to the max,
driving slow on the fast lane.

Otherwise,
this will happen.



1. Get yourself challenged
2. If your ego is high, you'll accept it
3. Speed up to 180km/h - 200km/h (during lunchtime)
4. Cutting lanes *thumbs up* (hell yeah! My favourite)
5. Make sure you win!!!



Yeah..
So he was tailgating me from Summit USJ until somewhere in KESAS.
I lost track of him half way.

And I'm so proud to say,
I WINNNN!



Yup. Amateur thinking.
But its the adrenaline rush.
Sharp cornering.
I thought I was about to meet God in my afterlife.


Fun.

Spent my day with a bunch of dearest gay sakais.

Thanks Joel for inviting my to Ben's BBQ party.

It was awesome.


♥ the food.





And you know what's the best thing?

I got chased by police on the way back.



*thumbs up*





BUT!




They couldn't catch up :)

It's been a month now from the day he walked out of my life.

Going through everything,
mostly by myself..

Yes,
my dear friends were there for me..
But for how long?
They too, have their own problems.


Walking alone in the dark shadows is one of my biggest fear.
But you were once there for me,
holding my hand, stepping through the shadows..



How I wish, that you're still here with me.
I miss you very much..

It keeps me wonder..

How a person can totally turned his/her back to the person whom they were so madly in loved with before?


Ignorance..

Complete cold-shoulder..



What are these?




Is this what humans are turning into?


So called bullshitting your partner,
telling them..thatt....

"No matter what happens, I'll always stand by yourside, and we'll go through it together.."


Perhaps,
words will only be words..
Please..
Do not ever say something which you know best, that you'll never mean it.

Because we all know,
life is full of karmas..

After all the depressing posts,
I guess it'll be fair if this post addressed to my dear friends..
I've found this beautiful quote,
and I shall address it to you all


My friends who were there to support me,
who were there to cheer me up,
and who were there to lend me a shoulder..




"No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you'll never go through it without your friends."

Silence..

Are you sure that silence is your best friend now?
Or are you confused?
..that....

You're only avoiding your friends,
staying away from your friends while flirting around on messenger?



Special feelings..



How fast it is for you to move on..


Perhaps,
you've never stop and take a walk with me before..

I'm getting more and more tired as each day passed.

Was it because of the hectic life I've put myself in?

Or was it because you kept mingling in my mind and wouldn't give me peace?

Yeah,

you've seen that right.

I am doing great!!!

Only with my friends around..

Why can't I let you go?

What is it that kept me hanging up on the 100th floor with only a thin thread tied around my neck?

Finally.
I was sick yesterday..

Well,
I hope that explained why I never online yesterday..

If..
And only if,
we made it until today..
It'll be our 5th month anniversary..

But I guess not..
You're not here for me anymore..
No..
You don't even treat me as your friend anymore..

And this is what you said that you'll be with me for all ups and downs..?


Go ahead..
Promise another girl that you'll be there for her at all time..
Promise her that you'll protect her..
Promise her that you'll never hurt her..
Promise her that you'll cherish her forever..
Tell her that you'll love her for eternity..
But you know well,
that you never actually know
the true meaning of love, my dear..

I'm getting tired.
Tired of falling..
Tired of trembling down under..
Over and over again..

I'm tired,
of standing up all alone..
I'm tired,
watching everyone walking side by side with their beloved..
I'm tired,
of looking at my pathetic self..

I had a hundred, thousand and millions of words to describe my feelings towards you.

But just before I can say it out to you,

You shoved me off by telling me,

that it is Goodbye.

Celebrated Joel's advanced birthday today.

Hope he likes it.


Moving on with the day by spending it with Ee Lyn.



Watched this movie.
Very touching in the end.
And yeah, I cried.
Can't believe.

Maybe because the story strikes right on my broken heart.
Sigh

Reading back the messages that you've once sent to me before.
Lying to myself that this are just a dream.

But knowing the truth that this is reality,
that you've no longer love me like you'd once sworn to me,


it really breaks me apart.

Went to college so freaking early. And I came across this blog post by Yvvone.

Truthfully, this post makes me think again.

I didn't know that guys were this sensitive. I mean come on, guys and their super high egos.

Sighh..

I'm so good that Mun Chung said this to me.

"You look like so happy"



Meanwhile Sara, on the other hand..
asked me..
"Do you still love him?"

Yes, Sara.
I do.
I'm still in love with him though he will no longer be mine.

You’re the one I can’t forget
No matter how far apart we are
My voice cries out and I know we’ll meet again

I can’t forget you
That time which was brittle as glass
Still resides within my heart
And will not disappear

It’s so lonely
Even though I thought the gentle smile
In my photo album would last forever

Now on this endless journey
In which I’ve destroyed everything
I embrace a tiny bit of happiness
To get me through the days

Even now a joyous face is branded on
Yet your body still fades away
That frame, that phrase
You hurt me and chose a different rail
Why do people’s feelings change?

I apologize and gives thanks
To my beloved days and to you

No matter how it turns out..

My feelings towards you will never change

I can’t take this anymore
Really, I’m going crazy
The love in our hearts when we first met
Where has it gone to?

I said, we are over
But that’s not what my heart wants to say
Sitting and hesitating for what I said

For a moment,
I was like an idiot regretting

There is nothing that can drive me insane
I’m still loving you
My tears are still not enough
Even when it’s hurting a lot
I’ll try finding my way back


Goodbye..

Where's Day 12?

Well,
I spent Day 12 thinking bout the amount of days we had together.


I came to this realization,
that all this while..

He was really committed to this relationship.
I guess I was the idiot in this relationship.


I'm sorry that I could not show affection to you.
But I thought that you can feel what I felt inside.
I thought you can feel whats inside my heart.
My feelings towards you.

However,
I never expect you to enjoy to the fullest and flirt right after we break.
That is when I doubt that you've ever been serious with me.

I really want to whine more here.
But I'm being pathetic am I?

Time sure pass so darn quick.
But to me,
every second is like centuries in hell.


"I thought watching you leave was hard,
but knowing you weren't coming back was harder."



Up until now,
I still can't face the reality.
Just how easy God can take away your happiness?




Though,
I'm very proud of myself.

I'm able to convince my friends that 100% all good.
And they believed me.
Thanks.


But only true friends know how I felt inside..


I really wish.. that...

..you're still mine..

I'm losing my mind.
I'm losing my focus.




I can barely count the times that I've almost got myself into an accident.




Sometimes,
I just don't know where my mind flies,
where my soul wander..

Yes, I am.

My words can be harsh.


But I thought it'll be the only way to refrain myself to keep hopes of getting back together.


I guess, I'm wrong again.



The true fact is,
I really wish that I can take back all my words.
Everything that I've said when you told me its over.
There's no point regretting it now.

Though,
I never thought that we can never friends even when it ends.



If you think by cutting all strings,
I could forget you completely?
It does not work that way, darling..
No, it doesn't..

I thought that it was a day for me to leave everything behind and enjoy myself just like how he flirts right after we broke up.

BUT NOOO!



He just must literally comes haunting my mind!





Everything..
Everywhere I went today revolves our memory for being together once before.


"Stop thinking bout him, Elaine"


Right..
If it was that easy, I won't be whining and crying myself to bed?


Up until now,
I still could not believe that you can just let it go that easily,
if you really did love me and prioritize our relationship before.

I wish..
I wish that I am as cold-hearted as you.
As cruel as you..
And as flirty as you..